During a discussion with a female friend recently, the subject of p0rn came up. With a cold stare, she looked at me, eyes burning, and said, with much conviction (and volume): "wololo!!! hmmm"
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Here are 6 bad lessons from the p0rn industry:
- Women are always ready. P0rn is flawed right from the time you hit Play on the DVD player. While there are women who are ready for sex at the drop of a hat, most require some kind of effort besides eloquent, smooth lines like, "You ready?" or "How about some?" Do men really think that a line like "Wanna bump uglies?" is going to get them in the mood? It’s going to take a little more than that to get a woman to relax enough to forget about work stress, money worries, the kids, boring chores and everything else that is preying on her mind.
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- All women want to do anything to/for the man, while he provides a bare minimum. This is highlighted in every movie and in every scene. 99 percent of se'x scenes start with.... (wait for it) — a bl0wjob . Of course... because she's been sitting around all day just waiting to perform that act.
- Foreplay is not necessary. No need for all that pesky foreplay — kissing is overrated, ambiance is unnecessary, creating any kind of a mood is just a waste of time. Just give it to me now! Sometimes a quickie is just what a woman wants, but every time? Come on. Many women would be happier if he rushed home to take out the trash and clean the house instead of walking in expecting oral se'x.
- Everything on a woman is... "accessible"... and she wants you to do whatever you want to her body. Yeah, right. Anytime a man wants to insert his various extremities into any part of her body—and then pound (perhaps without any lubrication)... that works for her. Gimme a break.
- Nipples are there specifically for men to abuse. In P0rnland, pounding, pulling, pinching, twisting and prodding obsessively — with ever-increasing intensity — on the most sensitive of a woman's body parts will earn men extra points. (And can we please acknowledge that there is a real difference between aggressive sex and clumsy, seventh-grade experimentation? Some women are into pain and kink... but not all. (A clearer definition: Er0tic might be a feather... Kinky is the whole chicken.)
- All women are naturally attracted to other women. Ah yes... the Holy Grail of se'x for men: The threesome. There’s nothing wrong if she's into it, but you won’t catch most women hanging out a with a friend, dressed as secretaries (or school girls, or teachers, or bikini-wearing “housewives”) with blue eye shadow and sticky red lip gloss, waiting (err… pining) for the guy to come home (or knock on the door with a pizza delivery) so they can have se'x with him together.
These examples showcase the massive disconnect between what most women say they really want, and what men are being exposed to on a constant basis. If men are being turned on by an ever-increasing selfishness in bed, it’s no wonder sex lives are suffering (which I’m not just assuming … I’ve been told). I'm not suggesting that se'x needs to be candles, soft music and aromatherapy every time, but assuming all women want these things is B.S.; there's just no other term for it. And I'm also not suggesting that men should be doing all the work to create the mood, but I would suggest that there are rewards to be reaped for reading the scene, creating the right environment, and moving slowly... ending in a fever pitch.My bottom line: P0rn might be a great, but great sex requires more. Seduction is not over-rated… and it starts way before you enter the bedroom.
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