Come Over For Some Nasty "Mayoo"

A Boyfriend texts his Girlfriend saying “Hey babe you wanna come over and have s3x?” Girlfriend texts back “Duh!” So the girl goes over her Boyfriends house, and right before they get into it, he sets the boundaries. “Ok, so my little brother is home, and I have bunk beds. He’s on the bottom bunk. If you want it harder, you say tomato. If you want it faster, you say lettuce, and if you want to moan you say any other ingredients that would be on a sandwich.” So they’re up on the top bunk having s3x, and she’s yelling “Tomato! Tomato! Lettuce! Lettuce! Cheese! Cheese!” Well the little brother is still on the bottom bunk and yells “Hey can you guys knock it off, your getting Mayonnaise all over me!!!” 

Funny Sardar

One day a Sardarji was bored and was dialing all numbers of his office colleagues he remember .

He dials a number and hear a lady’s sweet voice “Hello”.

Then Sardarji replies “Hi, Can we go on a date? Would you like to have fun?”

“Do you know who i am ?” the lady shouts,

“No” Sardarji replies,

“I am the manager of this company” she answers

“Do you know to whom you are talking to?” Sardarji shouts.

“No” the lady replies

“Thank you” says Sardarji and cuts the call.

Husband Wife Jokes – Beautiful Wife

A Husband said to his wife One day

“I don’t know how you can be so stupid & so beautiful all at the same time”

The wife responded ,

“Allow me to explain, God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me ;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !”

CLEVER WIFE

Wife called hubby in office ..
Wife – window is not opening .. What shall I do ?
Hubby – Put some hot water n wait for while. It will open …

Wife (lil unconvinced)- are you sure ?
Hubby – ya trust me it will do the magic.. Try it ..

(After a while hubby calls back to check) … Did u do as I told you ! Did it do the needful trick ?

Wife – I don’t know about the trick or magic but NOW entire laptop is not starting…