Finally!! Nigerian WOMEN DECODED ……. what they always WANT …. Nigerian MEN need to READ THIS

1. We love the way you courted us. The texts, calls, flowers, chocolates, cards, airport pick-ups, weekends away. Please don't stop this when you know you 'have us'.

2. We like security and a feeling of familiarity. Give us a chance to get to know you, before hitting on us.

3. We want to be treated as ladies. Not as unequals. We don't expect you to open every door and foot every bill, but it doesn't mean we don't find your gestures of genuine chivalry very attractive. Even the most independent woman wants to feel she is treasured and adored as an object of beauty, just as long as it doesn't go so far that the man insists on making her every decision.

4. We like to talk. This does not mean we are asking for your opinion or that we want you to magically fix all our problems. Mostly, we just need to vent. And we love it so much when you really hear us. Listen because that's all you need to do.

5. We expect you to remember relationship landmarks. You love technology, so when we tell you our anniversary is coming, or our birthday, put it in your planner, so you remember. You remember meetings, and cricket scores, so remember birthdays, it's not that hard.

6. We love an excuse to get dressed up. Give us the chance to sizzle in our glam wardrobe. Don't get nervous if other guys look at us.

7. Keep your promises. We like simple courtesies. Be on time, do whatever you said you were going to, and if things have changed, muster up the courage to tell us upfront.

8. Love for us begins in the mind. Just like you like the sensuous curves, we like the dinners, romance and dreamy conversation.

9. We also love sports, (I am a martial arts and a basketball player) but it does not mean that it has to be the same game you play.

10. We don't want you to give up on guys nights. Believe it or not, we understand that you need space. We love our all-girl time as well.

MEN ONLY: The most EPIC MARRIAGE ADVICE for all men ……….A MUST READ for all MEN.

Below are wise marriage tips from a man that was recently divorced. You wouldn’t normally think that a divorced man would give good advice on being a husband, but this man has been through enough hardship to know what is worth fighting for:

Marriage advice I wish I would have had:

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…

1 Never stop courting. Never stop dating.

NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

 2 Protect your own heart.

Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3 FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again.

Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4 Always see the best in her.

Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love.

5.It’s not your job to change or fix her…

Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6 Take full accountability for your own emotions.

It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7 Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry.

They are your emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of you that is asking to be healed

Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to hold her and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean.8 Be silly.

Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

9 Be present.

Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully with her. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

10 Don’t be an idiot.

And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

11 Give her space.

The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing

12 Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

13 Be fully transparent.

If you want to have trust you must be willing to share everything… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know if she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. Drop the mask… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

14 Never stop growing together

The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

15 don’t worry about money.

Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

16.Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it with those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

For LADIES! How to know you are DATING a REAL MAN.

1)      A real man values more than just looks - A real man will value a woman’s personality and behaviours more than he values looks.

 

2)     A real man will never be intimidated by your motivation - A real man should never be intimidated by a woman’s goals and ambitions. Infact, he should be there to support a woman’s dreams.

 

3)     A real man will give you answers-A real man will not beat around the bush when confronted with a question. If there is something you two need to talk about, you will sit down and talk.

 

4)     A real man will trust you- A real man will never fear about your whereabouts unlike a boy who will always be spying on you and invading your privacy

 

5)     A real man is cool, calm and collected-Instead of spilling all his anger on you, a real man will approach situations calmly and with a lot of maturity

 

6)     A real man will show you respect-A real man will treat you with respect and he will never mistreat you.

 

7)     A real man will put an effort into your relationship- A real man will do surprise you with gifts and dates just to make sure that your relationship is getting sweet each day.

A must READ! 10 LOVE quotes that will MELT your HEART .. Which is your favourite?????

True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist; nor can it be hidden where it does.
- David Schwimmer, American actor

When you are in love you can’t fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams.
- Dr. Suess, American writer

When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness, and call it love - true love
- Robert Fulghum, American author

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven’t had time for tobacco since.
- Arturo Toscanini, musician

 

I love you not for who you are, but for what I am when I am with you …
- Roy croft, poet

We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it.
- Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook), author

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson, poet

Language is for non-lovers, those who are not in love. For lovers, silence is enough language. Without saying anything, they go on speaking.
- Osho, spiritual teacher

What a grand thing, to be loved! What a grander thing still, to love!
- Victor Hugo, novelist

When a woman comes into your life, things organize themselves.
- Chetan bhagat,  Indian author


What’s your favourite love quote? leave us a comment and let us know!

LADIES!!!! can you do this? This is a touching story about the experience of this innocent LAdY

“When I met my boyfriend, he showed me love and gave me all the attention that my parents never gave me. That is why I fell for him. My goal was to become a nun but my plans were shuttered when I learnt that I was pregnant in March 2012. I was later forced to get married to the man whom I barely knew.

 

I learnt of my HIV status when I took my ailing child to clinic. In my mind I thought that everything was okay because this is the only man whom I have ever had an intimate relationship with only for things to change at the clinic. The revelation of being positive coupled with the eventual death of my child sunk me into depression.

 

I lost focus in life and just hoped that I would die because my husband with whom am now separated with also started abusing me physically. Despite all this I forgave my husband and I have learnt to live with my current status.

Ladies….. Can you do this?

10 REASONs why most people are UNHAPPY with RELATIONSHIPS, LOVE and DATING……MUST READ.

1. Dwelling on the past. You can’t dwell on what went wrong forever. Eventually you have to accept the past, the mistakes that came with it, and do what’s needed to make things right. Even if that means letting go of something that was once special to you. Just because it didn’t work out one time doesn’t mean things have to go bad forever.

2. Its two way traffic. Stop giving everything you have to offer to people who have nothing to offer in return. It’s important to be equally yoked and have balance. If you’re big on communication, you need somebody who knows how to express themselves. If they aren’t willing and capable to exceed or match the effort you put in, then you’re wasting your time with them.

3. If there are no risks, then there will be no rewards. Pleasure is only pleasure because you understand pain. Take chances on love. The only lessons that hurt forever are the ones we refuse to learn from. If you want the reward of a “happily ever after”, then you have to risk being emotionally uncomfortable now.

Have the hope and faith to allow something to be new for you again. Believe in the strength of your heart.

4. Trying to control everything. You can’t control everything and you don’t have to. When you allow things to happen naturally, they tend to happen better and to last longer.

Stop thinking that being in control will protect you from getting hurt because it won’t; all it will do is limit your happiness and confuse you emotionally. If you feel the need to control it then that means you don’t trust it, and if you don’t trust it then that means you aren’t ready to have it.

5. Believe that “better” is possible for you. Not everybody wants to play games and tell lies. There are some people out there, just like you, who genuinely want a lasting healthy relationship. Don’t limit your future based on your past. You went through all that you went through to learn from it, not to hide from it. Don’t let life steal your hope for love. Pain is only temporary but pessimism can’t make it seem permanent.

6. Be willing to give somebody a fair chance. Yes, hurt people can hurt people but not everybody is hurt. Some people are healed and capable of showing you different, but only if you let them. You can’t start everybody off in the negative and get mad when you get no positive results. Be strong enough to handle things person by person; you can’t put everybody in a box just because you’ve dated with a closed mind.

7. Let go of the people who aren’t putting forth the effort needed to keep you in their lives. If they’re sleeping on the job, then let them miss out. Nobody should need an incentive to value treasure so if you’re a good catch, then be just that, but don’t waste your time trying to prove it to people that aren’t worthy. Understand that just because you think you want somebody doesn’t mean that person deserves to have you.

8. Not settling works both ways. Don’t settle for a relationship with just anybody and don’t settle for not trying at all just because things didn’t work out before. If you know you have a good heart, if you know you have a lot to offer, and if real love means something to you, then don’t give up on what you deserve.

You can’t help who you love but you can help who you play the fool for, so be smarter not bitter.

The only thing to fear is being forced to realize that you’re miserable by choice because you’re too scared to go after what really makes you happy.

9. Be patient enough to make it right. Be committed enough to make it strong. Be honest enough to keep it pure. Trust in your ability to make the right decision for your heart.

Stop thinking about how the past hurt you and start being thankful for what it taught you.

The only people that ever love and lose are the ones who didn’t love and learn.

There’s a lesson in every bit of pain, and if you’re patient, honest, and committed to not only learning the lesson but also applying what you’ve learned, happiness and love are inevitable for you.

10. Don’t expect things to be perfect and don’t expect anything to be easy. Even a good relationship will face bad times, but if the two are smart they’ll work with love instead of fighting with pride. If you want real love, you have to be built for any weather.

The love has to be unconditional and your effort has to be unwavering. If you’re not willing to give it your all, you’ll lose it all, but there’s a lesson to learn in the things we “lose”

Sometimes it takes losing a good thing to find a great one. If you really believe love is meant for you to have, then you’ll do what you have to do to get it, and once you have it, you’ll do what’s required to keep it. If not, then it’s just not for you.

A MUST READ for MEN .. How to TEXT a LADY and make her be ADDICTED to you!!!!!!!!!! LADIES read this and see if you agree

So you finally got the number of that lady you’ve been chasing for a while and now another challenge looms. How do you text her in a way that she’ll see you as really cool?

Whether it’s through WhatsApp or normal SMS texting, the first few texts are very crucial. They can determine the kind of relationship the two of you will have.

They can determine whether you’ll have her n your bed the next weekend, whether you’ll have a long lasting relationship, whether you’ll be ruled out or whether you’ll be put on the friend’s list.

Here are a few tips on how to go about texting a lady you like

1.      Go ahead and text her …. don’t hesitate

Don’t overthink it. You’ll get tensed hence end up saying stupid things, When a lady gives you her number, she wants you to communicate, so do so. Say whatever is on your mind but avoid irrelevant things or common questions like, “What you upto?”

Make sure you keep your text message short, sweet and structured in a query way. By query way I mean that it should not really be a question but it should be put in a way that she’s obligated to respond. Some ladies hate being asked too many questions, especially by guys they don’t know so well. So avoid multiple questions. A simple text won’t just let her know that you are thinking about her and her well-being, it will make her fond of you.

2.      Make her miss you

Don’t be that guy who tests all the time….you’ll become a boring puppy and a nuisance. After the two of you have been texting or WhatsApping each other for a while, go MIA. Stop replying to all her messages or take time before you reply. If she’s a little angry when you get back to her, apologize and tell her about something cool you had to do. Her anger will soften into soft admiration. And you know what they say, there’s no better way to woo a lady than to give her mixed emotions..

3.      Employ emotions

Tell her about something crazy or sad that just happened to you but you were able to handle it. She will sympathise with you and feel some sort of emotions gearing towards you. Do not tell her about something you were unable to handle because she might see you as weak or in desperate need of help. And ladies don’t like guys who come with loads of problems..

4.      Timing is key

Know the appropriate times to text her depending on what she does for a living or depending on the kind of person she is. Texting her when she’s busy will only make her more disinterested. If you are dealing with a busy lady, evenings are the best times to text.

Evenings are usually the times when single ladies desire affection the most. Tell her sweet things that she can fantasize about. Make her laugh, then don’t text again until the following evening. Not unless she misses you and decides to text sooner.

Best REJECTION LINES ……. every WOMAN has used them

1. I think of you as a brother.
Translation: You give me the creeps.

2. There's a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: I may as well be dating my dad.

3. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
Translation: I don't want to be seen in public with a dork like you.

4. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: I'm busy seeing other guys. Who are you again?

5. I've got a boyfriend.
Translation: I'd rather be with my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.

6. I don't date men where I work.
Translation: I wouldn't date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building.

7. It's not you, it's me.
Translation: It's you.

8. I'm concentrating on my career.
Translation: Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.

9. I'm saved, so my heart belongs to God.
Translation: I've sworn off men like you.

10. Let's be friends.
Translation: I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and go out with. I appreciate the male perspective.

LADIES; Seven things you shouldn’t say or do when your friend getsengaged

1. Critique the ring:

My friend’s engagement ring is not like your standard ring. It’s different and judging by the caption she included with the picture, exactly what she asked for. It didn’t include a diamond and it wasn’t platinum. And instead of people applauding the fact that her man listened to her and got it right, one of the very first comments under the picture was, “Nice ring but I’m still waiting on my diamond though.” Umm… two things. 1.) Don’t talk about the engagement ring that her dude went and got for her at her request. If it’s good for her, then it should be none of your concern. And 2.) Don’t make this about you! A lot of us are still waiting on rings but this is supposed to be about celebrating your friend’s engagement not talking about your hypothetical one. Chill and let her have her moment.


2. Question the timing of the engagement:

Comments like “Really, so soon?” or “Finally!” aren’t appropriate for this time. If she said yes, then the timing worked for her. You’re not the one who’s committing your life to anyone.


3. Try to talk her out of marrying him

If you’re her sister, mother or very best friend– and I do mean very best friend– and you feel like this really isn’t the right move, then ask her if she’s sure one time. If she says yes then tap into your inner Lupita Nyong’o and act like you’re happy for her.
If it is a mistake, let it be hers to make. Planning a wedding and embarking on a new life with someone are not easy transitions, she’ll need a support system. And at the end of the day, whether you think it’s a mistake or not, is not the point. Your friend/family member is an adult (hopefully) with the free will to make her own decisions. As much as it might hurt to watch, you have to let her make them. If you are not one of the above mentioned characters in her life story, then you really shouldn’t speak on it at all.

4. Compare your journey to hers:

So far, most of these pointers have been in relation to the engaged woman. But this one is all about you, boo. When people we’ve grown up with start getting married and having babies etc, it can be easy for us to compare our journeys with theirs. You start thinking things like “Maybe I should be engaged now too.” “I’m not even dating anyone.” “I’m so far behind.” After all we went through school together, hit puberty around the same time and graduated on the same day, we should be reaching life’s milestones together too right? Wrong. Teddy Roosevelt told y’all, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Everyone’s path is different and you’re not competing with anyone but yourself. Don’t try to live anyone else’s life, I guarantee you won’t like it. Sure, you can take some time and see what’s going on with folks, even celebrate with them. You should. But be sure to get back to your own lane and do you

5. Agree to be a bridesmaid when you can’t afford it/don’t want to:

Unless you feel morally obligated to take on the role of bridesmaid, I suggest you don’t do it if you know your money is funny or you just don’t want to be in the wedding. If you sign on for this responsibility and your heart or your pockets aren’t fully in it, you’ll be the bridesmaid who complains about every penny spent and every activity planned. And that’s not who you want to be. Not only will it hurt your friend’s feelings if she finds out, the women you’re complaining to will know not to invite you to be a part of their day. This is the time to be happy for your girl and if being in the wedding is going to take away from some of that happiness, then you should be honest with her and just chill with the general audience.

6. Give Unsolicited wedding planning advice

I know for some of you this is going to be a hard one. But unless your friend explicitly uses the words, “What do you think…” then assume she doesn’t want your input. With all the bridal magazines, Pinterest boards and other pieces of advice she’ll be getting from family (read: her mother), you throwing in your two cents into the pot might be an overload. Plus she might not like your taste. Wait until she comes to you.

7. Ask if she is pregnant:

Even if she is…just don’t ask this question. It’s rude.

10 TYPES OF WOMEN MEN SHOULD NEVER DATE AS POSTED ON talk afrique.COM- A SELF REFLECTION MOMENT!

So I came across this post perusing blogs. I thought this post talk afrique.com was interesting. As I am engrossed in the dating life….I wonder if I fall into anyone of these categories. I thought it was great and an eye-opening article that reminds me of what I do not want to be. I believe one should always self-reflect and if you have certain behavioral tendencies where you are boxed in any of these categories….maybe we should adjust our behavior. It is never too late to modify..so you won’t scare off the next wonderful gent who is curious in getting to know you.

gold-digger

Basically the post asks the guys if they ever wonder why the women they date always turn out to be annoying or weird and that they are possibly choosing the wrong women. So I am sharing this for my fellow ladies and gents. Enjoy and Self Reflect!
1. The Chatterbox

This is the woman who never shuts up, barely stopping to breathe. Seemingly only concerned about what is going on in her life, she always has to make a comment about everything and dominates conversations.
2. The Desperate Chick

This type of woman will seem fantastic at first, until she starts talking about your wedding location, how many kids she wants and the name of your future dog–right after the first date! When a woman advances WAY faster than normal, watch out. She NEEDS a man so bad that she’s willing to put anybody in that slot, even the homeless guy on the corner.

3. The Overly-Critical Woman
Anything you do for this type of woman is simply not good enough. Nothing seems to work unless it is done according to her standards. Anything that is said by anyone will be quickly taken out of context to become some sort of insult or some reason to wage war against the world. This type of woman has plenty of emotional baggage and will make you an angry and bitter person as there will be nothing but misery with her.

4. The Bimbo
This type of woman can’t obtain a GED but has managed to secure a PhD in the science of the bedroom. This is an intellectually challenged woman who looks great but, in all honesty, shouldn’t open her mouth. Her skills are unquestionably only rooted in the physical realm and unless you’re just after one-night stands, you do not want to bring a stupid girl home to meet Mom and Dad. The majority of girls you see on the streets everyday fall into this category,

5. The High Maintenance Chick
If this type of woman breaks a nail, she expects you to drop everything you’re doing to drive her to the salon immediately. Her daddy always told her she was a princess and she expects to be treated like one at all times. She has expensive taste and expects you to shower her with only the best things and take her out to posh places on a regular basis. If you don’t have a lot of money and a penchant for luxury, don’t even bother.

6. The Clingy Girl
This woman is a nuisance who can’t go anywhere or do anything without the company of her man. She’ll adopt your interests, calls 20 times a day and fly off the handle anytime she’s not around to monitor your behavior. This type of woman will smother any chance of you missing her by insisting that you spend every waking moment with her, refusing to let you go out with the boys or spend any significant amount of time with anyone else.

7. The Baby’s Mama
This woman has a great physique, great personality and her toes are pretty too! There’s only one problem–she’s got a pretty large amount of children with assorted “baby-daddy’s”, and when women like this get desperate, any and every guy has the potential to be “daddy.” This woman got knocked up by somebody that she was supposedly in love with, and not only is she a bad judge of character, she’s GROSSLY irresponsible. The same guys that are “jerks” now are the same guys she once thought the world of and had unprotected sex with.

8. The Gold Digger
The Gold-Digger will compliment you on your expensive watch, ask you what kind of car you drive, what you do for a living, where you live and so on. Like the high maintenance woman, the Gold Digger is basically looking for a sugar daddy, she’ll size you up within the first five minutes and drop you just as quickly if your cash flow runs out and you can’t take her shopping anymore. These types of women will just suck your wallet dry and leave you emasculated. Fortunately,you can usually see this type coming from a mile away. She wants to write out the names of all her designer items and post it on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

9. The Club Girl
Club girls are nothing more than fantasy women who have been practically living in bars and clubs since they hit the legal drinking age. They have beautiful faces with full lips, big doe eyes, great legs, and all the curves you could ever ask for. The problem in dating these women is that they love to wear clothes that show off their great assets not just to you, but to every Tom, man-hood and Harry on the street. A woman like this may be carefree and wild; however, once you take a closer look, you’ll realize that her entire life is a party and most nights will end with her puking in your car. Or waking up hungover, in some guy’s bed in the morning.

10. The Feminist
This type of woman can never be pleased by a man and she believes that men are the cause of all the pains and suffering of society. It is her strong belief that women are much more intelligent than men and are capable of doing things “the right way”. You don’t want to waste any time with this type of woman because anything that you do will always be negative to her.