This Nigerian student with ST D showed off photos of female students he had s3x with.
He claims to have had s3x with over 59 girls in one semester!!
Why post such photos online?
SEE REMAINING PHOTOS ON NEXT PAGE CLICK BELOW
Shock as another MALE Student with STD Leaks Photos of ALL FEMALE Students he has had S£x with...SHAME!!!
This Nigerian student with ST D showed off photos of female students he had s3x with.
He claims to have had s3x with over 59 girls in one semester!!
Why post such photos online?
SEE REMAINING PHOTOS ON NEXT PAGE CLICK BELOW
9 Things To Ask Your Girlfriend
When you’re really beginning to fall for a woman, there are some talks that you absolutely must have.
The sooner these ten questions are asked, the sooner you can settle down and enjoy yourself.
If she squ1rms around with any of these, you’ll know right away that there’s something you need to think about.
1. Have You Been Tested?
When you want to get horizontal, this is a crucial question. Mutual STD testing is irritating, but it can take a huge load off of your mind. If you can’t ask her this, you probably shouldn’t get into bed with her. Plus, bare-backing’s awesome.
2. Do You Want Kids?For your own sake, and hers, make sure that you ask her this as soon as things start to get serious. If you’re incompatible on this front, resign yourself to a temporary relationship.
CONTINUE ON NEXT PAGE CLICK BELOW
3. What Activities Are Off The Table?Everyone has limits, and if someone says that they don’t, be very very careful around them. Ask your girlfriend what she considers verboten, whether it’s that one thing that you love to do in bed or if she’ll ever go to eat Cambodian food again. If she says “never”, believe her and decide how you feel.
4. What Activities Need To Be On The Table?Sometimes she’s got a kink to share, and sometimes she needs to make sure that you’ll call her every night when you’re on the road.Ask her what she considers to be essential for building a relationship, and decide how you feel about them.
Nice Body to body Oil Massage-for couples!!
♠
WATCH VIDEO BELOW
Anyone that has had a body massage can vouch for the positive effects as it leaves you relaxed and invigorated at the same time. However, what many people don't realize is that a good massage can do more than just make you feel good right after, it can actually help you improve your health.Tight muscles happen for number reasons, bad posture, stress, injury, disease and more. These tight muscles can make you feel tired and sluggish but a good massage can help relieve the tension of the muscles. Not only will this help you feel better, but it's actually better for you since tense muscles do not have healthy blood flow. The massage will help increase circulation which will bring more blood and oxygen to the muscles and will also help them get rid of toxins easier.
But stressed out muscles are usually caused by a combination of physical and emotional stresses as well as internal and external factors. If you are stressed out about something, chances are you're probably tensing up your muscles and don't even realize it. Luckily, a good body massage can help work on both these emotional and physical issues.
You can ease external stresses by simply being in a peaceful dimly lit massage room. Sometimes there will be soft music playing and sometimes the oil used will produce an aromatherapy effect which will help relax you. As the therapist works on your tensed muscles, you can just feel the stresses of the day floating away.
Not only will you leave the massage therapy place with more relaxed muscles, your frame of mind will probably be better too. You might find that your mood is elevated and this will actually help you deal with any new stresses you have to face.
A proper body massage will help increase circulation as a therapist will be working directly on areas where fluids get trapped. These are the knotted up or tense areas that you feel in your muscles. The massage will increase blood flow to these areas, releasing toxins and bringing in fresh nutrients that will help your muscles repair themselves and become reenergized.
One thing that a lot of people don't think about with a massage is that it might also improve your digestion. Poor circulation as well as stress can hamper good digestion so if you're massage relieves both these problems then your digestive system might respond accordingly.
As soon as you get off the massage table you probably noticed that you have an improved range of motion. This happens particularly with sports massages where they've gone in for a particular problem to be relieved. However, this can be a byproduct of any massage since once you are tensed muscles have been relaxed in your joints have been made more limber you find that you suddenly have a better range of motion.
Massage has been used in the East for centuries as part of an overall health treatment plan and even here in the West were finding that they can help to fight some diseases and illnesses. Oftentimes people who suffer from arthritis or those who have had surgery frequently report that incorporating massage into the recovery program is quite helpful.
Another thing about body massage that we tend to not think about here in the West is the healing power that comes with touch. Massage therapists know about this and use everything in their tool bag to give you optimum health.
5 WAYS TO ACHIEVE AN IRRESISTIBLE DATING PROFILE
Along with the new year come new beginnings, and singles all over the world are hoping for one of those beginnings to be new love. Online dating sites are now one of the most popular ways to meet singles. And with thousands of dating sites out there, the outlets to find love online are certainly there, and booming at that.
A recent study of over 4,000 dating profiles done by Zoosk has discovered how to fix these problems, how to improve odds of receiving messages, and how to get more replies to messages sent. Here are
5 WAYS TO ACHIEVE AN IRRESISTIBLE DATING PROFILE:
1. DESCRIBE YOUR HOBBIES
Describing your hobbies and personal interests can lead to more messages, and more activity on your dating profile. Online dating users who mention exercise in their dating profiles receive 21% more messages, and users who mention an interest in music and musical skills get 15% more messages. All of the artists out there get 6% more messages, and bookworms get a whopping 21% more messages!
2. SHOW IT ALL OFF
People often mistakenly choose a head shot for their main photo. However, while there’s nothing wrong with a close up of your pearly whites, online dating users who show their entire body in their profile photo receive more than three times the messages of the average user. They also see a 33% improvement in receiving responses to their messages. Save the head shots for other parts of your profile, and put it all on display for your main pic.
3. CHECK YOUR SPELLING
Bring out all of your writing and grammar skills when you’re constructing your online profile, because apparently people like proper English. And no short cuts either! Use a “teh” “cuz” or “b4″ in a message, and you will instantly turn the receiver off, making it 13% less likely that you will get a reply. Women are sticklers when it comes to this, because for men the response rates drop by a drastic 27%. Don’t forget about punctuation…
4. MAKE SURE YOU’RE ALONE…
DO NOT include anyone in your photo, including your beloved pet chihuahua or fluffy kitten. People who include friends or pets in their photos see a huge drop in responses to their messages. Those who bring their dear pets into their profile photo get 53% fewer messages, and 12% fewer responses to the messages they send. Having a human in the photo is nearly as bad. Profiles with main photos with more than one person, lower their chance of receiving an incoming message by 42%. People aren’t interested in dating your pet…they’re interested in dating you.
5. KEEP YOUR COOL
The prospect of finding love is very exciting, but make sure you keep your cool. Users who come on too strongly experience a significant decline in replies received. Use the word “sexy”, “hot” or “cute”, and you’re 44% less likely to receive a reply
THE POWER OF WORDS:
While there are some words that turn prospective matches off, there are also words that do the opposite. According to a study conducted with okCupid and Match.com, there are actually certain words that are proven to make you seem more attractive to other users.
TOP 5 ATTRACTIVE WORDS USED BY FEMALES:
1. Movie
2. Spa
3. Yoga
4. Surfing
5. Athlete
TOP 5 ATTRACTIVE WORDS USED BY MALES:
1. Gym
2. Surf
3. Yoga
4. Skiing
5. Fitness
BIZZARE AS man WALKS TO HOSPITALwith-a-stick in his neck
Please do not click further into this photo if you are easily offended or disturbed by graphic images. We reserve the right to repost any messages transmitted to us.
BIZZARE AS ''VAMPIRE MAN'' BITES AND KILLS 6 MONTH CHILD
A Papua New Guinea man described as a vampire has been arrested after allegedly murdering his young daughter by biting her neck, eating her flesh and drinking her blood, a report says. The grisly incident occurred on Wednesday at a settlement near Lae. According to Papua New Guinea’s post courier, the local councilor John Kenny, who was one of the first on the scene, said the three-year-old child and her mother were visiting the father when he grabbed the girl and ran off into a nearby bush. Kenny said the man allegedly held the toddler close to him, bit deep into her neck, ate the flesh and sucked her blood. Two boys who were climbing a coconut tree nearby saw him and ran quickly to raise the alarm.“He was just laughing at the boys and continued eating the flesh and sucking the blood,” Kenny told the newspaper. When people arrived to investigate the man dumped the body in the bush and ran away before being caught and turned over to police. Papua New Guinea is a sprawling nation where black magic, sorcery and cannibalism sometimes occur. Below is another photo of the vampire man holding the dead child... Please be warned that it is extremely graphic. See the photo after the cut
BELIEVE IT OR NOT …….. Mathematicians have figured out the formula for lasting S*x
Is there a formula for lasting love?
The formula for the perfect first date, well that's easy; Candlelit dinner + kissing = a call back.
The perfect relationship? Timing + communication x mutual attraction – emotional baggage = intimacy.
P3nis + pulse = One night stand. Relationships seem simple when you put them like that.
And yet we've all had those romances where the sums seem to add up, where the right boxes were ticked and the scores were even... but somehow it doesn't add up to love.
Love is frustrating, elusive, and intangible. It starts in that sweet spot between intimacy and excitement which is impossible to manufacture and tiring to maintain. Can the algorithms of online dating sites or indeed the long odds of stumbling upon your perfect partner down the local pub ever predict where, when or for how long cupid will strike?
Whilst science has not yet manufactured the perfect partner, mathematicians are claiming to have found the formula that predicts how long love will last. Research commissioned by MSN has revealed a new love equation that determines the key ingredients to a successful, long-lasting relationship – with factors such as a good sense of humor ranking in importance alongside a person's number of previous sexual partners.
According to the 2,000 males and females surveyed, 25 per cent of both men and women believe their partner should have had four sexual partners before them (with one in five men clin
ging to the traditional belief that they should be their ideal woman’s “first”).
The survey also found that men prioritize looks over intelligence and are twice as likely as women to believe that good sex is important for a happy, enduring relationship.
The biggest surprise for me was that the number one trait we're all apparently after is wit. So there you go, it's not sex-appeal but sparkling banter that'll make you a hit with the opposite sex.
It is claimed that the resulting formula (L = 8 + .5Y - .2P + .9Hm + .3Mf + J - .3G - .5(Sm - Sf)2 + I + 1.5C - see key below) can determine how long a potential or current relationship can be expected to last.
Does it really work? I decided to test the hypothesis through extremely scientific means (in other words, by broadcasting to the world, via Twitter, that I am single and ready to mingle in a mathematically-approved fashion). I applied the formula to various unsuspecting male friends and volunteers over the course of an afternoon, and eventually found a man with whom love would apparently last 12.9 years.
Only trouble is... I don't fancy him. And despite the 12.9 happy years I could offer him, he doesn't particularly fancy giving it a go either. That's science for you. Back to the drawing board.
The formula explained:
L = 8 + .5Y - .2P + .9Hm + .3Mf + J - .3G - .5(Sm - Sf)2 + I + 1.5C
L: The predicted length in years of the relationship
Y: The number of years the two people knew each other before the relationship became serious
P: The number of previous partners of both people added together
Hm: The importance the male partner attaches to honesty in the relationship
Mf : The importance the female attaches to money in the relationship
J: The importance both attach to humor (added together)
G: The importance both attach to good looks (added together)
Sm and Sf = The importance male and female attach to sex
I = The importance attached to having good in-laws (added together)
C= The importance attached to children in the relationship (added together)
LADIES; 10 WARNING SIGNS that he’s just using you and he’ll dump you soon
Are you feeling that your boyfriend could be using you? Yes? No? I know that doing some exploring of your deeper feelings and asking yourself the hard questions in life can be uncomfortable for many. But honesty is vital in self-improvement and especially in romantic relationships.
‘Is my boyfriend is using me?’ I’ve actually been asked this question many times by women, and they’ll also want to know the signs that a man is using you. Then, the first thing I’ll usually ask them is this; ‘How do you FEEL about it?’ For often, the actual feeling that you’re being used by a man is a major telling sign in itself.
So, if you have the actual feeling that you’re being used by a man, your feeling is probably spot on! Far too often women either ignore their intuition or deny/repress their feelings. They definitely need to trust their own instincts more than they usually do!
Are you feeling that your boyfriend could be using you? Yes? No? I know that doing some exploring of your deeper feelings and asking yourself the hard questions in life can be uncomfortable for many. But honesty is vital in self-improvement and especially in romantic relationships. And, if you did happen to answer ‘yes’ to the question, then you’re most probably beingused.
The fact is that a man either looks at you as a TEMPORARY companion (such as a ‘booty call,’ ‘good time girl,’ or ‘friend with benefits.’ And, this may even be without you realizing it!) Or, he’ll be looking at you as a permanent girlfriend whom he’s truly devoted to. A man who’s using you is not ever thinking about devoting himself to you wholeheartedly – or having a real relationship with you. He’s simply looking for a brief fling where he can take advantage of you. You’re just a convenience.
Now, HOW can you really tell if a man is using you? Here are 10 blatant signs he’s just using you….
1. He isn’t that interested in REALLY getting to know you, wanting to learn all about your interests, your dreams, your family…. in fact, he doesn’t really ask you many questions about yourself at all. All he ever really seems to want to do is…. ahem…. be alone with you.
2. He doesn’t make any significant effort to please you, surprise you or make you feel special. He doesn’t buy you chocolates, flowers or gifts (if his pay packet allows it,) EVEN on your birthday, Valentine’s day or other important holidays.) If he does happen to buy you the occasional gift, it’s always related to sex…. like lingerie. Even so, he’s certainly not going out of his way for you, or doing lots of nice or helpful things for you either (the hallmarks of love.)
3. He’s not very affectionate (out of bed) and he doesn’t show any significant feelings. He doesn’t gaze into your eyes lovingly, stroke your face tenderly, give you back massages…. (and you’d actually be quite happy to be able to reciprocate this.) And, once you’ve slept together, he may even try to get you out of his place – as quickly as possible! You’ve also noticed that he often makes up excuses that he needs to go somewhere.
4. He doesn’t show any sincere interest in (let alone care about, or have any obvious concern,) concerning your thoughts, feelings, ideas, goals, desires or problems. He doesn’t even appear to be that interested in how your day has been. You may even have to initiate most of your conversations. The care, interest and concern never seems to be mutual! In fact, when you do actually talk together, it’s mainly centered on HIM, his interests etc. When you do try and turn the conversation on yourself, it always ends up quickly turning strait back to him and what HE wants to talk about. Or….
5. He hardly talks at all and appears to not want to waste any time talking with you. There’s no talk ever about the future, dating exclusively, a serious commitment or where the relationship is going. What he really likes to do instead is the ‘physical’ type of activities. That involve little planning or speaking! And, being between the sheets with him seems to be the only real connection you actually have with this man (yet after the act he always goes a little cold.) This brings me to….
6. He’s not texting, emailing you or calling you. And, when you try and contact him, he’s often not available (and your messages may not be returned for days.) In fact, he’ll rarely ever contact you first, and if he does, it’s at the very last minute (or the latest hours on the weekend.) There’s not ever any real communication between you and the only time he ever makes time for you out of his busy (and rather mysterious) schedule is to have sex! And, everything is on his time, his terms and his conditions. And, you may not even see or hear from him again until the next booty call! You’re really starting to get the impression that he’s only contacting you to have sex.
7. He’s only ever taken you on ONE actual date (if any,) and that was before you slept with him. He doesn’t take you out for dinner, out dancing or to a movie. If he does happen to take you out, you may have to pay for yourself. Usually, the time you spend together is just hanging out at each others places. Behind closed doors. And, you often head strait for the bedroom the moment you (or he) walks in the door. Actually, when you think about it, there’s not that many enjoyable or ‘sharing’ moments with him at all – that don’t involve sex (for its own sake.) Or, you find yourself just sitting there ‘hanging’ together in front of the TV.
8. He seems to expect you to meet his needs, but doesn’t show any real interest in meeting YOURS. Not only that, but he’s not showing you (ever) that he puts your wants and needs ahead of his own. You don’t feel loved, respected, appreciated or cherished in that altruistic way! Speaking of feeling appreciated, you only ever feel appreciated or valued for WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR HIM.
9. He doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends, family or work colleagues. He doesn’t carry your pictures around with him in his wallet or cell phone either. You’re never really seen together at all. You’ve also noticed that he seems to want to keep you private from the rest of his life. He may have a jam packed schedule or social life that doesn’t involve you (you’ve even asked him a few times if you could tag along and he looked slightly uncomfortable about it.) The rare times you do happen to go out in public with him, you notice that he isn’t as affectionate towards you and even treats you like his ‘friend.’ He may even seem to want to keep you at ‘arms length.’
10. He doesn’t ever seem to compliment you on, or notice for that matter, anything besides your body or something that pertains to your ‘sexiness.’ You rarely (if ever) hear him complimenting you on your personality, your intelligence, your talents,your ideas….
His focus is solely on the physical aspect.
A man can have sex with you and not have any feelings for you. Also, a man doesn’t have to have any real feelings for you to sleep with you one time – or a thousand times!
If you refuse to sleep with a man again, and tell him you want to take a step back and take it slowly for a while, if he still sticks with you, the chances are that he’s not actually using you. Though, a man who’s using a woman will almost immediately move on to the next target!
Originally published on The Art of Being Feminine
‘Is my boyfriend is using me?’ I’ve actually been asked this question many times by women, and they’ll also want to know the signs that a man is using you. Then, the first thing I’ll usually ask them is this; ‘How do you FEEL about it?’ For often, the actual feeling that you’re being used by a man is a major telling sign in itself.
So, if you have the actual feeling that you’re being used by a man, your feeling is probably spot on! Far too often women either ignore their intuition or deny/repress their feelings. They definitely need to trust their own instincts more than they usually do!
Are you feeling that your boyfriend could be using you? Yes? No? I know that doing some exploring of your deeper feelings and asking yourself the hard questions in life can be uncomfortable for many. But honesty is vital in self-improvement and especially in romantic relationships. And, if you did happen to answer ‘yes’ to the question, then you’re most probably beingused.
The fact is that a man either looks at you as a TEMPORARY companion (such as a ‘booty call,’ ‘good time girl,’ or ‘friend with benefits.’ And, this may even be without you realizing it!) Or, he’ll be looking at you as a permanent girlfriend whom he’s truly devoted to. A man who’s using you is not ever thinking about devoting himself to you wholeheartedly – or having a real relationship with you. He’s simply looking for a brief fling where he can take advantage of you. You’re just a convenience.
Now, HOW can you really tell if a man is using you? Here are 10 blatant signs he’s just using you….
1. He isn’t that interested in REALLY getting to know you, wanting to learn all about your interests, your dreams, your family…. in fact, he doesn’t really ask you many questions about yourself at all. All he ever really seems to want to do is…. ahem…. be alone with you.
2. He doesn’t make any significant effort to please you, surprise you or make you feel special. He doesn’t buy you chocolates, flowers or gifts (if his pay packet allows it,) EVEN on your birthday, Valentine’s day or other important holidays.) If he does happen to buy you the occasional gift, it’s always related to sex…. like lingerie. Even so, he’s certainly not going out of his way for you, or doing lots of nice or helpful things for you either (the hallmarks of love.)
3. He’s not very affectionate (out of bed) and he doesn’t show any significant feelings. He doesn’t gaze into your eyes lovingly, stroke your face tenderly, give you back massages…. (and you’d actually be quite happy to be able to reciprocate this.) And, once you’ve slept together, he may even try to get you out of his place – as quickly as possible! You’ve also noticed that he often makes up excuses that he needs to go somewhere.
4. He doesn’t show any sincere interest in (let alone care about, or have any obvious concern,) concerning your thoughts, feelings, ideas, goals, desires or problems. He doesn’t even appear to be that interested in how your day has been. You may even have to initiate most of your conversations. The care, interest and concern never seems to be mutual! In fact, when you do actually talk together, it’s mainly centered on HIM, his interests etc. When you do try and turn the conversation on yourself, it always ends up quickly turning strait back to him and what HE wants to talk about. Or….
5. He hardly talks at all and appears to not want to waste any time talking with you. There’s no talk ever about the future, dating exclusively, a serious commitment or where the relationship is going. What he really likes to do instead is the ‘physical’ type of activities. That involve little planning or speaking! And, being between the sheets with him seems to be the only real connection you actually have with this man (yet after the act he always goes a little cold.) This brings me to….
6. He’s not texting, emailing you or calling you. And, when you try and contact him, he’s often not available (and your messages may not be returned for days.) In fact, he’ll rarely ever contact you first, and if he does, it’s at the very last minute (or the latest hours on the weekend.) There’s not ever any real communication between you and the only time he ever makes time for you out of his busy (and rather mysterious) schedule is to have sex! And, everything is on his time, his terms and his conditions. And, you may not even see or hear from him again until the next booty call! You’re really starting to get the impression that he’s only contacting you to have sex.
7. He’s only ever taken you on ONE actual date (if any,) and that was before you slept with him. He doesn’t take you out for dinner, out dancing or to a movie. If he does happen to take you out, you may have to pay for yourself. Usually, the time you spend together is just hanging out at each others places. Behind closed doors. And, you often head strait for the bedroom the moment you (or he) walks in the door. Actually, when you think about it, there’s not that many enjoyable or ‘sharing’ moments with him at all – that don’t involve sex (for its own sake.) Or, you find yourself just sitting there ‘hanging’ together in front of the TV.
8. He seems to expect you to meet his needs, but doesn’t show any real interest in meeting YOURS. Not only that, but he’s not showing you (ever) that he puts your wants and needs ahead of his own. You don’t feel loved, respected, appreciated or cherished in that altruistic way! Speaking of feeling appreciated, you only ever feel appreciated or valued for WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR HIM.
9. He doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends, family or work colleagues. He doesn’t carry your pictures around with him in his wallet or cell phone either. You’re never really seen together at all. You’ve also noticed that he seems to want to keep you private from the rest of his life. He may have a jam packed schedule or social life that doesn’t involve you (you’ve even asked him a few times if you could tag along and he looked slightly uncomfortable about it.) The rare times you do happen to go out in public with him, you notice that he isn’t as affectionate towards you and even treats you like his ‘friend.’ He may even seem to want to keep you at ‘arms length.’
10. He doesn’t ever seem to compliment you on, or notice for that matter, anything besides your body or something that pertains to your ‘sexiness.’ You rarely (if ever) hear him complimenting you on your personality, your intelligence, your talents,your ideas….
His focus is solely on the physical aspect.
A man can have sex with you and not have any feelings for you. Also, a man doesn’t have to have any real feelings for you to sleep with you one time – or a thousand times!
If you refuse to sleep with a man again, and tell him you want to take a step back and take it slowly for a while, if he still sticks with you, the chances are that he’s not actually using you. Though, a man who’s using a woman will almost immediately move on to the next target!
Originally published on The Art of Being Feminine
I NEED HELP!!! please advise me why I can NOT have S£X
HWDear Afrique readers,
My name is John, I am 24 years old.
My problem is that I cannot have s*x because I sleep immediately I start having s3x with my partner. The problem is serious because I sleep until the following morning as if nothing happened.
This has cost me all my relationships because no lady is willing to accommodate me. They say that I am cursed. I need to be loved and enjoy s*x.
Please help
John
ARE YOU STILL SINGLE? See 6 reasons why you shouldn’t feel bad about being single
Here are six ways to slap yourself in the face (without slapping yourself in the face) when you’re down about being single.
1. Who cares?
People will give you all of this terrible advice (all the time) about how you’ll find the “one” when you’re not really looking. I’m never looking and I still haven’t found the one. Or that you need to love yourself before someone loves you. Oh please, people loved me when I was 14 and had braces and pimples — and I definitely didn’t love myself then!
But the truth is, when you want something to happen — and this applies to everything in life — you actually need to try. So if you want a dating life, you need to do something about it. You need to motivate yourself to get off the couch, put on some pants and sit across from Mr. Wrong about 45 times before you find Mr. Right.
And don’t do this unless you’re ready to do this. And you’ll know when you’re ready to this simply because the thought of online dating won’t make you nauseous and you will actually be excited to be set up with a friend of a friend of a friend.
2. Social media is a lie
People only post the really, really good or the really, really bad. Don’t let someone’s hashtags or smooching photos freak you out. They didn’t post about their terrible dates or their heartbreaks or the amount of times they fully swore they’d be alone forever before they found the one.
3. You’re not alone
You’re not the only person who feels perpetually single or the only person who feels like they are never, ever going to find anyone. I’m not saying we should all form some kind of support group where we meet once a week and cry in each others shoulders. I’m just saying we should accept that there is nothing wrong with us.
4. There’s no one right way to live
Back in the ’50s, women were married at 18 and their career was raising a family. Now, women build careers before they build a family. And there’s nothing wrong with either path. Your life, and how you live it, is your choice. So don’t compare your timeline of events to your (Facebook) friend’s.
5. Appreciate what you have
That’s the hardest part, isn’t it? Next time someone asks you “Why are you single?”, You can say: Well, I don’t know… but here’s why I have this awesome job. Or, “Here’s what my awesome friends and i have planned for Labor Day.” Or, “Here’s this awesome app that I just spent seven months building.” We are more than just our relationship status. Don’t forget that.
6. Be happy for other people
Try, really try hard. Jealously is a terrible feeling. Really, it is. And I’ll be the first to admit, when a friend calls me to let me know they just got engaged, my first thought is I lost another one. But then, right after that, I’m in tears because I really am so happy for them. I’ve been there with them from the start. I was there before they met their fiancé. I was there when they went on 27 bad dates. And all in all, I know — well, I just hope — that all of these friends who are engaged will be there for me one day, if I do meet the man of my dreams, to dance the electric slide and the cupid shuffle and the Harlem shake with me at my wedding some day.
1. Who cares?
People will give you all of this terrible advice (all the time) about how you’ll find the “one” when you’re not really looking. I’m never looking and I still haven’t found the one. Or that you need to love yourself before someone loves you. Oh please, people loved me when I was 14 and had braces and pimples — and I definitely didn’t love myself then!
But the truth is, when you want something to happen — and this applies to everything in life — you actually need to try. So if you want a dating life, you need to do something about it. You need to motivate yourself to get off the couch, put on some pants and sit across from Mr. Wrong about 45 times before you find Mr. Right.
And don’t do this unless you’re ready to do this. And you’ll know when you’re ready to this simply because the thought of online dating won’t make you nauseous and you will actually be excited to be set up with a friend of a friend of a friend.
2. Social media is a lie
People only post the really, really good or the really, really bad. Don’t let someone’s hashtags or smooching photos freak you out. They didn’t post about their terrible dates or their heartbreaks or the amount of times they fully swore they’d be alone forever before they found the one.
3. You’re not alone
You’re not the only person who feels perpetually single or the only person who feels like they are never, ever going to find anyone. I’m not saying we should all form some kind of support group where we meet once a week and cry in each others shoulders. I’m just saying we should accept that there is nothing wrong with us.
4. There’s no one right way to live
Back in the ’50s, women were married at 18 and their career was raising a family. Now, women build careers before they build a family. And there’s nothing wrong with either path. Your life, and how you live it, is your choice. So don’t compare your timeline of events to your (Facebook) friend’s.
5. Appreciate what you have
That’s the hardest part, isn’t it? Next time someone asks you “Why are you single?”, You can say: Well, I don’t know… but here’s why I have this awesome job. Or, “Here’s what my awesome friends and i have planned for Labor Day.” Or, “Here’s this awesome app that I just spent seven months building.” We are more than just our relationship status. Don’t forget that.
6. Be happy for other people
Try, really try hard. Jealously is a terrible feeling. Really, it is. And I’ll be the first to admit, when a friend calls me to let me know they just got engaged, my first thought is I lost another one. But then, right after that, I’m in tears because I really am so happy for them. I’ve been there with them from the start. I was there before they met their fiancé. I was there when they went on 27 bad dates. And all in all, I know — well, I just hope — that all of these friends who are engaged will be there for me one day, if I do meet the man of my dreams, to dance the electric slide and the cupid shuffle and the Harlem shake with me at my wedding some day.
LADIES; Top 5 reasons you should never ask a man out
I’ve heard it before… It’s the 21st century! Gender roles don’t exist anymore! Women can play the role of men! Bla, bla, bla.
But don’t forget that while our mothers and our grandmothers didn’t have the opportunities we have today, they did have something going for them – They well understood their role! And no, not in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. I mean, humble, meek, strong, not pushy, passive, yet passionate.
Hence, when any woman sees an attractive man, she should hold back from approaching him. She is the crown jewel. The man should come and seek his prize! But just incase this is not good enough reason for you, here are 5 more!
1. What if he’s CRAZY? DERANGED??
Let’s say you see this hottie across the way. He’s got the entire package: heightened stature, darkened complexion, toned physique. Whew! You decide to quit with the BS! ‘I’m a good catch too!’ you think to yourself. He needs a woman like me in his life. So you step to him. He is humbled when you speak first. He
laughs it off and seems almost embarassed by your action. When you ask him for the digits, he rattles them off. You walk away because that’s the only thing left to do. You call, he answers. You go out, he’s cool. Then, one day, you find out he has baby momma drama, a reposessed car, a foreclosed home, plus, he’s just plain CRAZY!
Now, look back. Don’t you wish you hadn’t said a mumbling word?
Let’s say you see this hottie across the way. He’s got the entire package: heightened stature, darkened complexion, toned physique. Whew! You decide to quit with the BS! ‘I’m a good catch too!’ you think to yourself. He needs a woman like me in his life. So you step to him. He is humbled when you speak first. He
laughs it off and seems almost embarassed by your action. When you ask him for the digits, he rattles them off. You walk away because that’s the only thing left to do. You call, he answers. You go out, he’s cool. Then, one day, you find out he has baby momma drama, a reposessed car, a foreclosed home, plus, he’s just plain CRAZY!
Now, look back. Don’t you wish you hadn’t said a mumbling word?
2. Let a man be a man!
I know that’s difficult sometimes. Because, for one, men don’t always know how to be men (can I get an AMEN!). But that’s okay. You need to let them learn. Don’t be their mother. Don’t attempt to teach them. And check this: if he’s the right kind of man. I’m talkin about the man you need, then guess what? He’s already got his mind’s gears grinding up a way to snag you girl! He’s just patiently seeking the right opportunity.
I know that’s difficult sometimes. Because, for one, men don’t always know how to be men (can I get an AMEN!). But that’s okay. You need to let them learn. Don’t be their mother. Don’t attempt to teach them. And check this: if he’s the right kind of man. I’m talkin about the man you need, then guess what? He’s already got his mind’s gears grinding up a way to snag you girl! He’s just patiently seeking the right opportunity.
3. It definitely makes YOU look desperate.
Sorry. But in my years of existence I have never seen a woman approach a man and not seem like one of these 3 things:
Sorry. But in my years of existence I have never seen a woman approach a man and not seem like one of these 3 things:
Aggressive
Pushy
Desperate
Maybe you’ve got the testicular fortitude of a Samantha Jones. Now she could pull it off. But if your goal is not to wind up doing the horizontal hokey pokey at the end of the night, then you’re not Sam at all. You’re probably more of a Miranda Hobbs. An eternal feminist who, at the end of the day, still wants and needs love just like the rest of us. So, know your role, and leave the aggression to the men.
4. So, are you the man now?
I just want to know, if you made the first move, and you’re satisfied with it, are you now going to lead him around for the rest of the relationship? Will you pick him up for the first date? Doubt it. Are you ready to pick up the tab for the evening? Pull out his chair, etc. Forgive the facetiousness, but I seriously doubt it. You will soon grow tired of taking the lead and making the decisions. But hell, you’ve already set the precedent. Gotta be consistent, right? Is that not what we want from them?
I just want to know, if you made the first move, and you’re satisfied with it, are you now going to lead him around for the rest of the relationship? Will you pick him up for the first date? Doubt it. Are you ready to pick up the tab for the evening? Pull out his chair, etc. Forgive the facetiousness, but I seriously doubt it. You will soon grow tired of taking the lead and making the decisions. But hell, you’ve already set the precedent. Gotta be consistent, right? Is that not what we want from them?
5. Is he that into you?
Ladies, if you made the decision for the man, to place yourself in his life, how do you know if he is even interested? He may be down for the ride initially, but what will really come from you having initiated the courtship? You may feel confident and sure of yourself, but at this point, he certainly isn’t. You know that men can easily become insecure when their man hood is threatened. And easily confused when you take away what they are most certain of. Furthermore, if he was not interested in approaching you, then let him stay that way. Is it really worthwhile to force him into feeling you?
Do feel free to disagree with me in your comments but ladies and gentlemen, for women that are seriously considering a relationship with the gentleman they meet, never ask him out unless all you want is just to flirt.
Ladies, if you made the decision for the man, to place yourself in his life, how do you know if he is even interested? He may be down for the ride initially, but what will really come from you having initiated the courtship? You may feel confident and sure of yourself, but at this point, he certainly isn’t. You know that men can easily become insecure when their man hood is threatened. And easily confused when you take away what they are most certain of. Furthermore, if he was not interested in approaching you, then let him stay that way. Is it really worthwhile to force him into feeling you?
Do feel free to disagree with me in your comments but ladies and gentlemen, for women that are seriously considering a relationship with the gentleman they meet, never ask him out unless all you want is just to flirt.
Please Help … My husband cries while we are having S*X, is he normal?
Dear Talk Afrique readers,
My name is Mary from Nairobi, my problem is that every time I have s*x with my husband, he cries uncontrollably like a baby and this kills my morale making me remain unsatisfied.
We romance well but when it comes to intercourse, he starts crying until when he c*ms. This has made us send our children to stay at their grandmother’s place because it is shameful to have s*x with them around.
Is he normal? Please advise
Mary
MEN MUST READ! See 4 sneaky games that women play with men
Often times men are accused of being cheaters and players, but let’s not get it twisted.. Women can be just as guilty of the same thing. Why don’t we take a look at some of the games they play!
She plays the emotional card
Women like to get mad at little things here and there. For example, say you miss her phone call and you don’t return the call on time. She’ll start yelling at you. She catches you glancing at another woman, she may give you the silent treatment. But here’s the WORSE thing for her to do. Say she asks you for something and you don’t want to give it to her, what does she do to make sure she gets her way? She plays the EMOTIONAL CARD! Men, be weary of fake tears! They may just be a way to get you to commit to doing something that you don’t want to do.
Women like to get mad at little things here and there. For example, say you miss her phone call and you don’t return the call on time. She’ll start yelling at you. She catches you glancing at another woman, she may give you the silent treatment. But here’s the WORSE thing for her to do. Say she asks you for something and you don’t want to give it to her, what does she do to make sure she gets her way? She plays the EMOTIONAL CARD! Men, be weary of fake tears! They may just be a way to get you to commit to doing something that you don’t want to do.
She refuses to sleep with you
If your woman normally sleeps with you on a regular basis, and you have upset her or have refused to listen to her demands, she may try to hit you where it really hurts! In the bedroom! Women know how much men can get addicted to this particularly fun pass time, and they can use it as a way to manipulate and get their way. So be strong and don’t give in.
She uses her “good-good” to play games with you
For example say she knows that you are planning on going out with your friends for the night, and she is feeling insecure about you going out with your friends for the weekend. Just as you are about to leave she sends you a thrilling text, tricking you to come over for the night so she can put her insecurities to rest.
If your woman normally sleeps with you on a regular basis, and you have upset her or have refused to listen to her demands, she may try to hit you where it really hurts! In the bedroom! Women know how much men can get addicted to this particularly fun pass time, and they can use it as a way to manipulate and get their way. So be strong and don’t give in.
She uses her “good-good” to play games with you
For example say she knows that you are planning on going out with your friends for the night, and she is feeling insecure about you going out with your friends for the weekend. Just as you are about to leave she sends you a thrilling text, tricking you to come over for the night so she can put her insecurities to rest.
She flirts with another guy
If she flirts with another guy she is very foolish because at the end of the day it just shows that she is disrespectful, and quite possibly very untrustworthy. The goal with this game she is playing? She is trying to get your attention and make you jealous. Don’t fall for her trick!
Dear rich and educated ladies; see reasons why men do not to marry you
The list is endless!!! Every man wants a woman he can be proud of and with whom he can enjoy life with. Men have preference and are very selective whenever they are making their choice on who to marry. Some would go for physical features, potentials, maturity, financial prowess or a combination of these. On the contrary, some are constrained in their preference to exclude highly educated or rich ladies from their search. Why?
Why is these an issue? A lady asked me in dismay? I thought within myself what the answers could be. I can only conclude that these men that are afraid of marrying these ladies are myopic in their view. Will you say your daughter or sister should not further her education or rise to the peak of her career if she wants for fear of being ostracized in the society? I’m not using this article to laud women but to open the eyes of some men. Isn’t it a pride for you if your wife happens to be the CEO of a renowned bank or company?
Men, there is a way you can treat ‘your’ woman that will make her blossom. Consider the quoted word. I will share that with you in one of my next post. After I made my observations about the reasons why some men do not want to marry the women that are better than them, I discovered the followings as their problem.
LOW SELF ESTEEM
One personality disorder that most people suffer is low self esteem, hence, men are not exempted from this. Low self esteem is rating yourself so low while comparing yourself with another person. If some men could be wise to know what a woman wants, you will not allow self esteem issue to belittle your real worth. Marriage is not about comparison. If it were to be, everybody will be looking out for their mate (with the same IQ, temperament, maturity or understanding) to marry. Men needs to change their perception about this kind of ladies if love is the drive for the relationship.
LACK OF UNDERSTANDING
When a thing is under-studied, it will be very difficult to handle it properly. One thing that has been discovered is that men in this category lack the understanding of how to deal with these kind of ladies. Apart from the fact that some of them could be disrespectful or proud, women can easily be handled if you deal with them in knowledge. What makes a man a player? His ability to deceitfully play with the life of a woman. But if a woman is well studied and understood properly, there is a way to love her and she will worship you irrespective of her achievements or status.
FEAR
A key factor that prevents men from marrying educated/rich ladies is fear. How will I cope with her? How can I fit into her life and status? Many ‘how’ are the questions most men ask themselves. If your main reason for marrying her is ‘love’, I mean true love; not for her money or status, I see no reason why you should be afraid of asking her hand in marriage. A lot of men are afraid because they felt they will be too expensive to manage. Money does not make a good marriage but genuine love and a handful of money.
SOCIETAL BELIEF
There are some things that lack an element of truth which most people do accept as true. Of such is that wealthy or educated ladies cannot make a good wife or better mothers. Men are the carrier of this belief, hence it is untrue. When a woman makes up her mind to be good, nothing can change that decision except she is treated harshly. Do not join the society to spread this unbiased belief about women.
One thing I have realized is that God made a woman’s affection to be directed towards a man. Hence it is understanding that will make a man identify what his wife needs. However, it is how knowledgeable a man is that will determine how he lives with her. Men needs to change their perception about the status of the woman they want to marry. If genuine love is the drive for the relationship, there’s a way you can live with her that will make her respect you. However, some women lacks respect and are proud when they have more.
If an educated/richer woman what comes your way, do not allow fear, societal belief, low self esteem or lack of understanding make you to loose her. Genuine love and patience is the secret to a woman’s heart. Give her these and she will naturally respect and forever submit to your lordship regardless of her status. But be ready to treat her right. Moreover, you two must be meant for each other. You cannot expect a woman that does not love you or pretends to love you to make a good wife even if she’s educated/rich. Awake the man in you. Don’t be intimidated.
Do you agree or disagree? Share your views
10 mistakes girls make with guys
Please appreciate the fact that men and women are wired differently. They have different ways of expressing and varying levels of emotional understanding. Avoid making silly mistakes by getting a few simple things right. These are some of the ten most common mistakes women make in a relationship.
1. Too many questions about the past:
The fact that your man is in a relationship with you currently is proof enough that he is in love with you and has already gotten over his past relationships. While it’s good to know a little bit about his past, don’t take the liberty of digging so deep that his wounds freshen up.
2. Visiting his workplace:
This is quite a sensitive issue as most men don’t like their girlfriends dropping in at their workplaces without being told. It is only if you are in a steady relationship from a long time or engaged that you can take the liberty of dropping into your man’s workplace uninformed.
3. Bringing up marriage:
If you have been in a relationship for a long time, it’s but natural that you will talk about marriage and settling down at some point. You may have a conversation about this once but don’t bring up the topic again and again. You will be at a loss if your man gets irritated by the same conversation taking place repetitively. It’s not that men are averse to commitment; it’s just that they take some time in taking these important decisions.
4. Pretending to be someone:
If there is anything that men hate, it is lies and hypocrisy. Many women make the blunder of pretending to be what they are not in reality. For instance, if you don’t like putting on makeup and dressing too much for a party, don’t do it just for him. He will immediately sense your discomfort. He would much rather appreciate and love your honesty and expect you to be what you are.
5. Compare financials:
How would you feel if someone compared your salary figures to that of your contemporaries? Terrible, surely! Although in today’s world, women see themselves as equals to men, men still think of themselves as bread earners of the family. Treat your man with respect irrespective of his earning. Don’t ever make the mistake of comparing his financials with others.
6. Don’t attempt to mend him:
Accept him with all his flaws and abilities. Don’t try and mother him to change his habits according to your needs. Give your man his space and watch how that automatically brings him to you.
7. Giving too much freedom:
If you see your man talking to other women at most of the parties and even going to the extent of flirting with them when you’re around, take that as a warning signal and strike on it as soon as possible but don’t be rude, do it politely and in style. You may be making a terrible mistake by trusting your partner blindly with such behavior.
8. Expecting expression of feelings all the time:
Men are not used to constant expression. For instance, you should expect a compliment from him once in a while but if you start expecting it every day then you are calling for trouble. You have to understand that just because men don’t express the way in which women freely do; it doesn’t mean they don’t love with passion.
9. Talking negatively:
If you bitch about others in front of your man all the time (once in a while is acceptable of course), it will make him feel that someday when you are not together you will talk about him in the same way with other people. Don’t make an impression on him that you are a negative person.
10. Comparing Looks:
Impress your man by showing some confidence about how beautiful and attractive you look. It’s not your outfit but your confidence that attracts your man. In trying to fish for compliments by comparing your physical appearance with other women, you are just making matters worse.
In-addition: Women often commit blunders with men in relationships. It’s a matter of understanding that men have a certain way of dealing with things that is different from women. Once you get this point, you will be much more comfortable and at ease in dealing with the men in your life.
Please Help: I’m in love with a distant COUSIN ……. Are we committing INCEST?
I am 20 years old and in a relationship with a guy aged 24 years.
My boyfriend is a brother to my cousin’s husband so I consider him my in-law.
My mother found out about the relationship and is not happy.
I am not sure if we are committing incest or if we are going against any taboo.
We are not from the same clan and we are not blood relatives but everyone is against this.
I love him and he loves me too but I need clarity on this.
Please advise...
4 signs your lover is checking out of the relationship
Here are five signs that your relationship isn’t working:
You Are Cheated on
This is something that many men and women continue to tolerate even though it’s one of the most hurtful and disrespectful things that someone can do to them. People choose to turn their backs on the situation or they simply decide to stay in the relationship even though it’s pretty obvious that it’s not a loving and devoted one on both sides.
Friends Always Come Before You
Friends are great for everyone to have and it’s healthy to balance a relationship with friendships and merge them together. But if your partner is constantly blowing off spending time with you in favor of spending time with friends, this is not a healthy sign of a good relationship.
Disrespect
If you are put down more often than built up, especially in front of others, this shows blatant disrespect for you. Teasing in moderation is always fun, and a good way to teach you to laugh at yourself. But when it becomes insulting, it’s not fun and it becomes hurtful.
Lack of Intimacy
Your partner refuses to get intimate with you, despite the fact that they previously had trouble keeping their hands off you! This is a true sign that something is wrong somewhere between the two of you.
Physical Abuse
If this is happening to you, it’s time for you to move on. Nothing is worse than this because you can become severely damaged or worse when you’re physically abused. Don’t ever stay – it’s wrong and dangerous.
These are just some of the signs to be on the lookout for if you aren’t sure whether or not your relationship is working or not. And unless you decide to stand up for yourself, it probably won’t continue to work, and you’ll never be as happy as you could be.
You Are Cheated on
This is something that many men and women continue to tolerate even though it’s one of the most hurtful and disrespectful things that someone can do to them. People choose to turn their backs on the situation or they simply decide to stay in the relationship even though it’s pretty obvious that it’s not a loving and devoted one on both sides.
Friends Always Come Before You
Friends are great for everyone to have and it’s healthy to balance a relationship with friendships and merge them together. But if your partner is constantly blowing off spending time with you in favor of spending time with friends, this is not a healthy sign of a good relationship.
Disrespect
If you are put down more often than built up, especially in front of others, this shows blatant disrespect for you. Teasing in moderation is always fun, and a good way to teach you to laugh at yourself. But when it becomes insulting, it’s not fun and it becomes hurtful.
Lack of Intimacy
Your partner refuses to get intimate with you, despite the fact that they previously had trouble keeping their hands off you! This is a true sign that something is wrong somewhere between the two of you.
Physical Abuse
If this is happening to you, it’s time for you to move on. Nothing is worse than this because you can become severely damaged or worse when you’re physically abused. Don’t ever stay – it’s wrong and dangerous.
These are just some of the signs to be on the lookout for if you aren’t sure whether or not your relationship is working or not. And unless you decide to stand up for yourself, it probably won’t continue to work, and you’ll never be as happy as you could be.
iDateDaily
LADIES, here are 6 steps to prevent s3xual assault (A must read)
Here’s what you can do to reduce your risk of s3xual assault.
1. Always be aware
Keep a close eye on your surroundings at all times, and avoid any situations in which you are isolated. Elevators, stairwells and dark alleys are dangerous places for women who are by themselves. If you must walk by yourself, pay attention to your gut and remove yourself from situations and locations that make you feel uncomfortable. Also, try to avoid distractions like headphones or talking on the phone, especially when you’re by yourself.
2. Avoid being a target
Distracted women, or women who can’t easily fight back make easy targets for assailants. Try not to carry too many bags or boxes at any time, as this can make you a target. Ponytails can also serve as an easy way to grab you, so avoid the hairstyle when you’re by yourself.
3. Employ a buddy system
Unfortunately, women don’t have the luxury of just going out by themselves, especially when it comes to nightclubs, bars and restaurants. Always have a buddy with you so you can watch out for each other in a social setting.
4. Keep an eye on your drink
It only takes a second for an assailant to slip a drug into your drink. Never leave your drink unattended, and always keep it in your line of view when you set it down. If you do leave your drink to go to the bathroom or to hit the dance floor, get rid of it. Furthermore, never accept a drink from a stranger (unless he orders it for you and you watch the bartender pour it).
5. Go ahead and hurt feelings
Women sometimes find themselves in isolated and dangerous situations because they’re afraid of hurting feelings. But if a man is making you feel uncomfortable, he needs to have his feelings hurt. Don’t be tender-hearted toward a man who makes you uneasy, because he’s not being tender-hearted to you. If you don’t want to go home with him, don’t want to dance with him or don’t want to accept a drink from him, then tell him firmly. No means no, regardless of whether the situation is “innocent” or violent.
6. Use an escape plan
Plan for the worst case scenario. Keep your cell phone charged at all times, and carry the number for a cab along with cash for the fare. Not only that, make sure that you and your buddy have agreed on the time you plan to leave, and stick to it.
Can you divorce your husband if he is impotence? MUST READ
I am a depressed wife because my husband cannot rise to the occasion. I discovered he had a permanent biological complication that affected his reproductive system, which he never revealed during courtship. As born again Christians, we abstained from sex before marriage to keep ourselves pure. I love him, but I am sexually starved because we have never made love since our wedding four years ago. As a woman, my joy is also to have a child of my own, which seems impossible as long as I am in this marriage. I have talked to my friends and relatives who have advised me to confide in him and part ways. Is the law on my side?
Pauline, Nairobi.
Dear Pauline Yes, the law would be on your side but only after proving in court that your husband is permanently impotent. It would, therefore, be required that you engage a lawyer with a valid practicing certificate to make an application in court to declare your marriage null and void.
The lawyer may have to produce medical evidence in court to prove your husband is permanently impotent, and that you never knew of this before walking down the aisle. According to the Matrimonial Causes Act, a marriage can be revoked if either spouse is permanently impotent or incapable of consummating the marriage at the time of the marriage.
Consummation means newlyweds must be able to have sexual intercourse on their wedding day. Intercourse before the wedding is not relevant and cannot pass as consummation, and a single act of sexual intercourse after marriage prevents this ground from succeeding.
via standardmedia.co.ke
Did you miss this? =>South African president married a fourth wife...
South African President Jacob Zuma and Bongi Ngema have dated for years, and have a son together
(CNN) -- South African President Jacob Zuma married his longtime fiancee in a private ceremony at his rural home, making her one of his four current wives.
Zuma, 70, tied the knot with Bongi Ngema in a traditional ceremony Friday in the town of Nkandla.
It is the sixth marriage overall for the polygamous president - - one of his wives died while another one divorced him.
The president practices the Zulu tradition, which allows polygamy. While legal in South Africa, polygamy is losing popularity with the younger generation in the continent, where it is still practiced in some cultures.
Zuma -- who has 21 children -- embraces his culture, said Mac Maharaj, a government spokesman.
"One of the challenges we have in this world ... is that some communities are looked down as inferior and there's a major struggle to assert our culture," Maharaj said. "You don't have to be ashamed of your culture provided you don't intrude on other people's fundamental rights."
The bridal party took part in a celebratory dance after the traditional Zulu wedding that included the president's three other wives.
The government did not pay for the wedding festivities nor does it pay for the four spouses' expenses unless related to state duties, the spokesman said.
South Africa has no official position of first lady, and the wives maintain private homes, he said. Their benefits include a personal secretary, and they accompany the president during travel on a rotating basis.
"The new Mrs. Zuma had already been part of the spousal office machinery in terms of administrative support so there will be no changes due to the wedding," Maharaj said.
Ngema, an activist, dated the president for years and they have a 7-year-old son together.
Zuma became president in 2009. He is also married to Sizakele Zuma, Nompumelelo Ntuli-Zuma and Tobeka Madiba-Zuma.
First Date Tips: What to Talk About and What Topics to avoid
First dates aren't easy. They usually consist of moments of awkward silence, fear of having food between your teeth, wondering if he noticed your nervousness, thinking you said something really stupid and wishing you could take it back, and the worst one, trying to think of what the heck you should talk about!
One of my tips was: Don't talk about why you got divorced for more than a few minutes. Why? Because your date might be going through his or her own divorce, and is probably viewing dating as refreshing. The last thing he or she wants to do is relive your divorce, hear your complaints and analyze what your ex spouse might or might not be thinking and feeling.
Besides not talking about your divorce, there are other topics of conversation you should stay away from on a first date. There are also some great topics that are perfect for a first date; topics that will spark intellectual, emotional and positive conversation, hopefully resulting in a second date!
1. Bad topic: Politics. Obamacare,Raila,Goodluck,Museveni etc is not first date stuff! People get really sensitive and offended if the person they are with doesn't share their political views.
Good topic: What's in the news. If you aren't already watching the news and reading the paper, please start. Aside from the fact that it makes you a more intelligent person, that it's healthy to be informed and knowledgeable, and that you are setting an example for your kids, knowing what's going on really does make you more attractive and interesting to your date. Plus, it sparks interesting, thoughtful conversation. I know you are busy, but you can get caught up on world news if you invest even 15 minutes a day reading the paper or news online.
2. Bad topic: Old relationships. Just like your date doesn't want to hear about your ex, no one wants to hear about an old boyfriend you still miss dearly, or the one who got away.
Good topic: Kids or family. Your date went out for dinner with you to get to know YOU, and the best way he or she can do that is to hear you talk about your kids or your family, the people you are closest to. I always like to watch a man's expression when he talks about his kids. That tells me everything I need to know about what kind of father and person he is. Or, one time I was dating this guy and he talked about how "stupid" his mother was. I RAN the other way. Seriously.
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3. Bad topic: Your job (if you are unhappy). I think there are two types of people. Those who go to their jobs only to bring home a paycheck, and those who truly have passion for what they do. If you are the former, keep your job description brief and instead talk about your hobbies and/or interests outside of the office. By the way, I have nothing against people who work for a paycheck. I'm not judging. I'm just saying, whatever you talk about with your date, talk about it with passion and happiness, versus "My boss is an a-hole."
Good topic: hobbies, interests, travel. Let's say you just got back from Spain, or you have a trip planned to China. Or, you just started doing yoga and you love it! (That's what I would talk about if I had a first date tonight.) Or, you are learning Spanish. First dates are all about figuring out if you want to have a relationship with this person. And so much of that comes down to having things in common. So, tell your date what turns you on!
4. Bad topic: S3x. It's just in bad taste to start talking about s3x on a first date. It just is.
Good topic: Love. You might disagree with me, but I think it's okay to talk about love and relationships, and what you think makes a good one. Get it on the table! Tell your date what you want and don't want. I'm not saying to tell your date you want to be married within the year, but saying, "I'm really looking to fall in love," or "I would like to be married again someday," aren't forbidden. Use your best judgment, but be honest. Chances are, your date wants that too.
In closing, of all the first date tips I can give, the best one is to just be yourself. Be authentic. BUT, be YOUR BEST self. Offer your date the things you love about yourself; your passion, your heart, your humor, perhaps. Leave your divorce baggage at home tonight.
‘Finally a black g-ay couple’ with kids!! oops
Ga y fathers respond to twitter backlash over Instagram photosOlivia Sylvain
Kaleb and Kordale are an interesting site to see; two handsome Black men resembling male models and toting three cute little children. Their Instagram page is flooded with photos of them raising their kids; helping with homework, combing their hair, and reading bedtime stories. It is the kind of family that some Americans claim they are ready to see, yet the parents have received quite a bit of negativity in response to their lifestyle.
Last week The Huffington Post highlighted the photo that had gone viral. In it Kaleb and Kordale are getting their daughters ready for school, the caption read:
Being fathers is getting our daughters up at 5:30 am making breakfast getting them dressed for school and putting them on the us by 6:30 .This is a typical day in our household. It’s not easy but we enjoy every moment and every minute of #fatherhood. #proudfathers #blackfathers #prouddads #gaydads
Many of the tweets and comments were positive, but some twitter users on “Black Twitter” (the realm of twitter where users, issues, hashtags, and topics are predominately Black) had mixed feelings about the issue. Comments like “Finally a black gay couple” expressed the notion that it is fine time for the visibility of African-American gay couples and the end of the “down low” mentality.
The couple expressed their feelings when The Huffington Post reached out to them. They stated that they “do what is necessary for [their children] to succeed in this ever-changing world” and that although they are discriminated against because of what they do “behind closed doors”, it is still no one’s business.
The issue raises many questions about the invisibility and/or visibility of Black gay men, especially those raising children. Which is more taboo about Kaleb and Kordale, their homos3xuality, their skin color, or their family?
Social media, especially Twitter and Instagram, has become a space for open expression whether political, s3xual, cultural or gender-based. People like Kaleb and Kordale are no different from any other Instagram users; their goal, like yours, is to show friends and family the joyful and interesting moments that take place in their lives—and occasionally post a flattering selfie or two.
The Five Guys Most Girls Will Love At Some Point In Their Lives
1) The First Love. Also commonly known as “The High School Sweetheart.” This boy is the Kevin to your Winnie. The Cory to your Topanga. The Dawson to your Joey. Sweet, innocent, idealistic…this is the stuff coming-of-age movies are made of. The First Love is probably the first boy you’ll ever kiss. (Or at least the first one you’ll kiss and feel the earth move.) He probably plays a sport and wears a letterman jacket. He’ll give you his class ring (which is too big, so you’ll proudly wrap yarn around it and wear it as badge of honor.) Some people go on to marry their first love, and the list ends here for them. Most, however…wave goodbye to him one bittersweet day as life and circumstance pulls you in two different directions and growing up comes much too soon. He’ll teach you to drive, to kiss, to LOVE, to open your heart and trust and take chances, paving the way for all the other loves still to come…and then he’ll move on.
2) The One That Could Have Been (But the Timing Was Always Off).
Maybe you met him while one of you was already in a relationship. Maybe every time you started to get close, life or work or something else completely unexpected came between you. Maybe it was simply God watching out for you, because He knows the two of you burned too brightly together to ever sustain a lasting spark. The One that Could Have Been is also often known as “The Big Love.” The love that seemed so meant to be that it wasn’t. The one that you were sure you’d never recover from until you did. This person is likely a soulmate, but the kind of soulmate that Liz Gilbert describes in Eat Pray Love:
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soulmate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soulmates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.”
Perhaps in another lifetime you were perfect together…but not this one.
3) The Bad Boy.
This one will probably steal your heart in your early 20’s, in those years when you’re trying to figure out who you are and who you want to be, and discovering your wings seems to come with a side of rebellion. You’ll think you can change him, but you can’t. (And secretly, you won’t want to, because if you did, he’d no longer be the boy who stole your heart). He’ll make you cry as much or more as he makes you laugh. Underneath it all, you suspect he has a heart of gold…and he probably does…but it will take years and many women after you to uncover it. Here’s the thing about bad boys: In the end, they always walk away. But they don’t leave you empty-handed. In their wake will be a girl who now knows what she wants out of love and what she won’t ever again stand for. And she’s finally learned how to say “Thanks, but no thanks” to anyone who doesn’t meet that standard.
4) The One That Got Away.
This boy will seem perfect…and secretly, you suspect he is. He’ll say all the right things, do all the right things, be the very picture of everything you ever imagined you wanted…except now that you have it, you question if you’re ready for that kind of perfection. And chances are, you’re not. Life knows when you’re ready. GOD knows when you’re ready. So even though The One That Got Away offers you everything you thought you wanted, he offers nothing you KNOW you need. And what you need is more time. Time to date other boys you’ll like but won’t love. Time to not date at all and just figure out who YOU are. Time to become the woman you’re meant to be and that you’re closer than ever to coming face to face with, thanks to the lessons brought to you by four “almost-loves.” And you’re almost ready for him…but not quite…so you’ll open your hand and set him free…feeling the beautiful double-edged sword of releasing what’s good and holding out for what’s good for YOU…while secretly wondering for the next few years if in letting go of “The One That Got Away,” you really let go of “The One.”
Except you didn’t.
5) The One. I haven’t met this one yet. I like to think he’s a mix of the four loves that came before him. I like to think he’s sweet and steadfast like The First Love, and passionate and challenging like The One That Could Have Been, and a little wild and rough around the edges like The Bad Boy, with the heart for commitment and building a life together like The One That Got Away. I like to think he’s all of them and none of them, all at the same time. I like to think he personifies this list and also erases it…using the scattered pieces of my heart he gently reclaims from each of them as the eraser. I like to think he will make me forget about anyone I ever loved or thought I loved before he came into my life. But I suspect he won’t. I suspect he will outshine them without setting fire to their memory all together. I suspect he will help me see the need for the other loves while also revealing to me in walking, talking form why it never worked out with any of them. He was always my destination. But they were my preparation.
And I am silently thankful for every step it took to get me here.
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